Tag Archives: clevergirl

It’s January. Time for Honeybells and Resolutions…

26 Jan

 

Of course I had a blogging explosion planned for the new year.

Really. I did.

I was going to start on the first and make it a regular, daily habit. No! Really! I am serious.

What is it that “they” say about the best laid plans? And about life is what happens while you are planning on blogging and doing all sorts of healthy things in this brand new sparkling fresh year? Yeah. Those things they just gassed it up and ran me right over.

So here I am. It’s almost February. I definitely proved my own theory, at least for myself, this year that January 1st should not mark the arduous attempts to adhere to new and risky diets, epic exercise, serial dating, and quitting your job immediately because you definitely want a new one in the new year. I think the angst and the self loathing and the eventual abandonment of all of one’s best intentions in a new calendar year could be avoided and all of us could achieve more of our self-improvements if we looked at New Year’s Eve as a declaration of changes and then utilized January to do the legwork to make long term changes in our lives and have them stick.

When I finally quit smoking (years ago. That is a story for another time) I kept reminding myself what the hypnotist thing at the Ramada Inn up north told me- it takes 21 days to start a new habit or really break an old one. I remind myself of that every time I start digging my heals in, clenching my jaw until my teeth threaten to crack, and clawing at the air. I’m not good with change. In retrospect, as in way after the change happens, I’m awesome at the whole change thing and shifting gears. In the immediate moment though, and when the change is facilitated in some way by another person, yeah I’m like a cartoon cat someone is trying to put in the bathtub.

Numbers sooth me. That concept of 21 days works wonders. Other number things that help me: I can do anything for 1 year. Tomorrow is another day (specifically in x number of hours I get to start fresh).

So January has a few more than 21 days. Not a problem. That first week, for me, is used to analyze my by behaviors that triggered the issue that made me declare such a related resolution at midnight. Come on, none of us get squishy and chunky and lose our various drives- creative and otherwise- overnight, and unless someone is force feeding us deep friend candy bars on an hourly basis, there is some reason as to why we wind up where we wind up.

Last year I ripped apart the things that were stopping me from being active in my life. None of the information helped me be more active during that long and painful 365, but it did help me find the answers to try a few new ideas to manage my rheumatoid arthritis and to be in my life again. I learned that I have a genetic oops that impacts the way I should be eating and the foods that cause extreme fatigue and anemia that I must avoid, and I learned that my son has the same disorder (it’s passed along on the x chromosome) so we can hopefully guide his health future away from the various sinkholes that riddle my past. So we adjusted our pantry, our diet, and learned to make our own breads and many things that are considered staples. I identified my needs from relationships in that year and learned to speak up for myself and I learned to stop holding on and certain people are like one-off experiences and transient, rather than permanent (yet dynamic) fixtures in my life.

So here I am, on my journey, not quite skipping along, but at least I’m out of bed, somewhat alert, and hammering out a few words today.

I’ve learned to stop calling my journey “epic”, because it is just a journey with some epic portions, but as a whole it’s not as seemingly endless as the word epic would make one believe. I have learned that anything that I’m thinking of as epic is a beast of a gnarled and prickery vine, thick as a thigh, that needs to come down immediately and be put through the chipper. Chips are an entirely more manageable thing than a beastly vine. Chips I can deal with. Chips I can sort through, examine the ones that need a closer look, and then use the wood chips from all those worries to fuel bigger things in my life that need that energy.

Does that make sense? I wish I could draw better. This stuff is all very visual and graphic for me, but I can barely hold a pencil these days, so I’ll just type it as best as I can.

Anyway, so I have a pile of “chips” in front of me and I’m busy sorting them one by one. I have decided to stop putting things off because it’s time to take care of me too instead of keeping everyone else’s ducks in a row. I won’t sweep these bits off the table into a shoebox because we are expecting my mother, our appliance repair guy, or the condo people. No more. I spend so much time analyzing my communication, my behavior, so I don’t Aspie-offend anyone. Too many who should, don’t bother with patience or kindness or giving the benefit of the doubt. I’m done wasting my time trying to be nice, I’m just going to be me (which, rumor has it, is pretty nice but isn’t meek and has quite a helping of smartass).

Things have to change this year. Things are changing this year. I’m losing too much of me and that’s not ok because I finally have the me part figured out. At least, after 26 days into the testing ground of 2011, the resolution sandbox, I know that much.  I know that this year, I’m not going to lose the resolution game, as I have been training and compiling resources and I’m ready to hit the ground running for distance rather than with the spirit of a sprint.

That’s all I have got for now, folks.

Xo

B
Mean Green Mama from Outer Space

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Be Clever: Give Handmade!

25 Nov

As a rule, I avoid malls and busy stores and I aim toward buying, making, and giving handmade goods as there are some amazing artisans out there who infuse quality handiwork with unique design and receiving these treasures just makes a person feel extra special, rather than just feeling like a check box on a list.

So avoid cookiecutter gifts this year… Well, unless they are actual cookie cutters (I just scored a gnome shaped one! I’m going to make gingerbread gnomes this year with Alex!)… And you can find plenty of handmade, unique cookie cutters that blow the socks off the typical shapes.

xo

Bek

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You may have noticed…

12 Apr

I changed the name of the blog.

See it?  In the upper left?

It was Be Clever. But that was entirely too much pressure for this under the weather, under pressure (cue Queen and Bowie) gal on the move.  Ok. Maybe not on the move so much as flat on her back in bed 99.9% of the time as I was under so much pressure it seems that I have sprung a leak of sorts (we are still waiting for test results from the spinal tap and MRI last week… more on those another day. Promise.) – my Monopoly money is on a fancy cerebrospinal fluid leak (CSF leak).

So I really can’t sit up for more than a few minutes at a time before a tricked out econo car with speakers that exceed the maximum weight capacity pulls up with full bass just inside the right side of my forehead.  And then starts blasting at the inside of my head with various automatic weapons. It sucks. It hurts. Nothing cuts the pain. Except hanging out totally flat (no pillows) in bed. Blah. It’s annoying.

Anyway,  I came up with the idea of the “accidental thong” when trying to explain to Alex what a wedgie is. Somewhere along the line I declared that “ladies don’t get wedgies, we get accidental thongs”.

And that’s pretty much the story of my life.  The misadventures of me. The actual me.  The one who gets accidental thongs and stubs her toes and bumps her head on everything. That’s me. Sure, I’m clever. But now that the pressure is off and I knocked off my internal editor, I’d like to have a little fun.

Because this ceiling is ugly, the ceiling fan needs a good dusting, and I can’t find the remote.

xo

B
p.s. If you use a Kindle (either the neato gadget or any of the desktop/iphone/ipad applications) you can subscribe to Accidental Thong via Amazon!
Accidental Thong

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2009 and what I learned…

31 Dec

pomander

Originally uploaded by CleverIndie

Hell hath no fury like an entitled princess with a Facebook account and a chip on her shoulder.

Some people who should know better, don’t.

Never underestimate the lengths someone will go to in order to avoid having to apologize.

Some people think it’s ok to abuse (emotionally and/or physically) people who are different. Not all people think people with neurological differences are human beings with rights. I was surprised to find out how nasty people are even about kids with neurological differences.

Never underestimate the crazy talk of a narcissist with a remote and access to Dr. Phil and Judge Judy.

Never underestimate the negative impact of other people’s unreasonable expectations.

Some folks believe anything on TV or in print. Regardless of how truthful/accurate the information or the source may be.

When family f&$ks up, they feel entitled to forgiveness without apologizing because they are family. They demand the benefit of the doubt, but will never give it.

Rewriting family and personal history is an exercise in fictional storytelling. It’s better to be honest, so everyone can learn from the darker experiences (face it, we don’t rewrite the light and funny stuff).

People who preach endlessly about being positive, and demand only positive information from family and friends will wind up positively alone. Or committed. Have you read “The Secret”? It reads like a how-to on disproving personal sanity.

Bullies are everywhere, even disguised as seemingly sweet kids and kindly old ladies.

Many of the logistics of friendship have changed, making the whole confusing friendship thing accessible to those of us who have always wanted good friends but are clueless about the methodology of finding and keeping those friends. (Yay!)

If someone is willing to dish out the nastiness over my differences, they cannot be trusted to be kind to Alex (who has many of the same quirks and bonus features).

Nature has been known to kick nurture’s ass, on occasion.

The strongest, most important, relationships aren’t automatically those with family- they are the ones that are cultivated on a medium of mutual respect and a desire to understand and accept another individual, wholly.

That’s all I’ve got for now….

Just wanted to share some of the things I finally figured out this year… (and now I don’t feel totally guilty about the resolutions I didn’t keep! :-)

Happy 2010! I have a feeling it is going to be a good one!

Xo

Bek

Holidays!

27 Nov

Please see my Etsy shop announcements for details on holiday shipping!

I have also been listing like a madwoman today!

Here’s a sample of the new treasures!

xo

Bek

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