An Obvious Sign.

Obvious sign of a day that needs to come to a close… Not being able to find my reading glasses.
Yes, I was wearing them.  It took me 10 minutes of squinty searching and they weren’t in the freezer or the spice cabinet.  I found another pair and popped them on.
I was, then, wearing two pairs of reading glasses on my face, and another on the top of my head, with one pair hooked on my collar, while I searched for any single pair of reading glasses so I could check my email on my ipod and recline with a cup of tea.

At least it was only four pairs time.

It’s progress.

(four weeks into summer break so far)

My boy is the sweetest, kindest, and most patient person I know. When I apologize because I’m too tired to take us on any big adventures on the average day, or when the pain gets bad enough to warrant a day of Spongebob and Cheerios, heatpacks and drawing, he gently tells me that my apology isn’t appropriate because I didn’t choose the pain or the fatigue and he tells me I’m his “sweetest, cutest, nicest Mama”. I tell him that I’m also the luckiest girl in the world because I get to know him and be his Mama.

I don’t want him to ever feel like his role is, primarily, soother. He is my child and I am his Mama. We are best friends and on our really difficult days, we are kindred spirits who just don’t fit in easily but always fit in with each other. (Though these days he’s getting awfully close to the border of where I am really embarrassing in my goofiness, when we are out in public. I get reminders before we get out of the car.) At the same time, there is so much negativity out there about how hard it is to be the parent of an autistic kid and I make sure he knows that the difficult parts of parenting and his autism is other people and not him and that he is a joy. I also remind him that we are all works in progress and he has been saying that, lately, whenever either one of us has a particularly spazzy or goofy moment.

I am the luckiest girl in the universe.
I am the luckiest Mama in the universe.
I am fortunate beyond measure to know this remarkable kid.

Here he is, jumping for joy:

And right now I need some sleep.
There will be a post to catch up on the events that I have skipped over… Eventually.

Goodnight.
xo
B.