Tag Archives: neurotypical

The Meticulous Choreography of Improvisation

13 Jul

I found this on thautcast.com: “What I Can Do Is Pretend To Be You”. It’s an Aspergian’s reflections on a life focused on passing, focused on perfecting “the character” others want us to portray. My first three-plus decades felt like this. I remember having to do an improv scene in the mandatory high school theater class and I just couldn’t grasp how to make improv work. Now I know that nearly every moment of my life was strictly scripted, with rationed moments of improvisation to perpetuate the illusion of flexibility and the words and looks that suggested that I was just a freak and not fitting in on purpose, and not possibly because of anything organic, formed in me before words and judgments and comparisons.

I struggled with that for years, as I tend to fixate on the things I can’t do, or can’t do well (training from my youth, when things were forever paraded about with labels regarding shortcomings, comparisons to other people, and my intelligence).

I fixate, I hyper focus, for the sake of pursuing mastery and approval.

I should say, I fixated. I hyper focused.

I’m so much happier now, being myself.

The approval I seek is my own, and I’ve learned to be flexible in my criteria and the word and concept of perfection aren’t in my vocabulary except as a scar that serves as a reminder to buckle up or watch where you are going as next time a scar might not even have the opportunity to form over the wound.

I wish I had this piece, from Larkin Taylor-Parker, on a sandwich board to wear around people who refused to look at me and instead focused on what they felt I wasn’t willing to be, for those who saw just the failure and the gaffes and not the effort and considerable choreography applied to each moment, to pass even just a little…

Click the link to hop on over to thautcast. I’d like to hear your thoughts on this piece and the concept of “passing”.

On Autistic Passing: “What I Can Do Is Pretend to Be You” | thAutcast.com.

Happy Friday,

B

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Anatomy Of An Autistic Speaking Out

1 Nov

I am working on something for Autistics Speak Day, but this caught my eye… Brilliant writing.  I think Julia Charlotte really nails how it feels to be caught between two worlds.

Anatomy Of An Autistic.

(Julia Charlotte’s piece is available on Facebook)

Excellent post by Ari Ne’eman on CommunicationShutdown and Autistics Speak Day can be found here

Sandy from AspieTeacher.com wrote this fantastic piece: Press Pound For More Options

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