Tag Archives: autism

Electricity

16 Aug

I caught this to share with you…

I watched the night sky crack over and over again.

The pulses of light were like memories returned.

A few moments (a long, thirteen second exposure) calcified, concentrated on my screen (once the vocal billows rumbled past and I could plug in again), and the fine, reaching, efflorescent threads appeared and yes, this is precisely how it feels to have lost moments returned after a decade or more.

One small sparkle reaches and branches into more crackles into cracks like a heavy foot on the lake, not yet settled fully into winter.

People can tell me a memory, but it just doesn’t feel true, organic, like the deep in me every cell, electrifying every nerve of a firsthand memory, and these second hand memories just can’t capture the intricacies of how my senses & mind focus and capture each morsel, waft, tactile, auditory, proprioceptive vision in an overloaded, carnival ride.

Each large crack, each branch, each baby eyelash and hair-thin thread a sensory memory, each grouping creating a breathing, visual, auditory, wildly flavorful, supersaturated, olfactory snapshot in time, in my strange and wonderful curious, thirsty, synesthetic, autistic, insomniac, famished brain.

It is electrifying.

It moves my limbs ever forward, seeking the tiniest splinter to restore conduction, to send out the dendritic heat and light so the bits and bobs form, what is for me, a complete memory, to fill the gaps where darkest shadow conceals unknown depths and a dragon or two

Exposed by the flash, the beasties and dragons pass control back to me and I can safely reach out, touching scales and jagged rock. Once I can feel the textures, and smell the sweaty mineral condensate and feel the radiant ginger spiced hotness of breath, and a slice of greyed sunlight falls on faces again, then I can set my pack down and explore before the calm and the darkest, soundless, healing, most welcome sleep embraces me.

-b.

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You might be an autism parent if….

6 Aug

You might be an autism parent if...

You put chocolate hazelnut butter in the nutribullet to smooth out some of the natural graininess to make it more palatable for your texture-sensitive kid.

(Note:  this experiment would have worked a bit better with a larger amount of this tasty stuff.  Unfortunately, I didn’t even think of getting him to try it again until I had polished off almost the whole jar. It’s not like I went weeks without that occurring to me.  A jar of Justin’s Chocolate Hazelnut blend only lasts a couple of days, at most, around here. It’s irresistible. Really. Our supermarket and Target both carry it, and the Maple Almond (so good on cinnamon toasts). You can also find it on Amazon: Justin’s)

He did ok with the Chocolate-Hazelnut, on warm toasted baguette, but not that enthusiastic.  He did eat three pieces of toast (small pieces) slathered with it, though, and that’s freaking amazing.   I also got him to eat three (individual raviolis) Amy’s frozen Ravioli even though they clearly had some degree of tomato sauce on them (I scraped off as much as I could. How am I the only person in our family who has zero Italian roots and I’m the only one who will touch a tomato, or sauce?!).  YES!

I’m still finding protein and fresh veggies to be a challenge for him, as he won’t eat nuts (Barney Butter thankfully is smooth enough, and available at Publix and Target(woohoo!) that he accepts it as a peanut butter substitute, as PB is off our menu due to G6PD Deficiency), can’t eat legumes (again, G6PD Deficiency is a factor) and he is mostly vegetarian (we are not, but he just can’t deal with the tearing and chewing of ANY meats), so he consumes quite a bit of milk and I make him a super-smoothie every couple of days with bananas, berries, hemp seed, almond butter, chia seed, yogurt, etc..to try to get at least some variety, as far as nutrients go, into him. He also really likes Life cereal and Cheerios, so at least those are fortified. He is growing and healthy, and the kid has a brain on him, so this seems to be working. Of course, I’ll never stop introducing new foods to him and now that he is older, he doesn’t protest but instead tries everything (serious progress!), so it is easier.

You can share your “You might be an autism parent if…” moments on two fantastic facebook pages:  You might be an autism parent if. and one of my favorite special needs parenting resources/communities:  Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid (seriously, if you don’t have the book, you NEED their book AND their Facebook community/page.  This was the first thing I read when I realized that this journey was veering way off path (and at the time, through what looked like an impassable thicket, plenty of prickers, nests of dangerous beasties, etc)…  Here’s a link to the book on Amazon: Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid: A Survival Guide for Ordinary Parents of Special Children.

I also got him to eat fresh cherries (not fresh picked, fresh from the supermarket… we have been mostly housebound this summer… long story for another time) WITH the stem and stone intact!  So I’m not rocking the Lady Macbeth manicure from pitting the damn cherries this go around.  Here he is, after I carefully demonstrated and gave him instructions on how not to break his teeth but still enjoy a good, sweet, juicy cherry.

untitled-2.jpg

A frozen cherry did not fare as well:

Found it.

Peace,

Bek

Tiny Drawings

6 Nov




Originally uploaded by The Happy Aspie

Alex hands me his completed homework & announces “I like to draw a picture with my name. I draw a different one everyday. Today, I made a square wave, sawtooth wave, triangle wave, and a sine wave.”

Whoa.

These things are tangible and for him, they come easier than multiplying single digits.

He also vocalizes the different sounds which correspond to the various waveforms.

I’m officially lost but not as far lost as when my last math teacher attempted explaining the concepts to me ad nauseam. I get it more now.  Maybe. 

Thankfully, this kid has great patience for his Mama, when it comes to sharing what he has learned thus far.

Whoa.

An Obvious Sign.

25 Jun

Obvious sign of a day that needs to come to a close… Not being able to find my reading glasses.
Yes, I was wearing them.  It took me 10 minutes of squinty searching and they weren’t in the freezer or the spice cabinet.  I found another pair and popped them on.
I was, then, wearing two pairs of reading glasses on my face, and another on the top of my head, with one pair hooked on my collar, while I searched for any single pair of reading glasses so I could check my email on my ipod and recline with a cup of tea.

At least it was only four pairs time.

It’s progress.

(four weeks into summer break so far)

My boy is the sweetest, kindest, and most patient person I know. When I apologize because I’m too tired to take us on any big adventures on the average day, or when the pain gets bad enough to warrant a day of Spongebob and Cheerios, heatpacks and drawing, he gently tells me that my apology isn’t appropriate because I didn’t choose the pain or the fatigue and he tells me I’m his “sweetest, cutest, nicest Mama”. I tell him that I’m also the luckiest girl in the world because I get to know him and be his Mama.

I don’t want him to ever feel like his role is, primarily, soother. He is my child and I am his Mama. We are best friends and on our really difficult days, we are kindred spirits who just don’t fit in easily but always fit in with each other. (Though these days he’s getting awfully close to the border of where I am really embarrassing in my goofiness, when we are out in public. I get reminders before we get out of the car.) At the same time, there is so much negativity out there about how hard it is to be the parent of an autistic kid and I make sure he knows that the difficult parts of parenting and his autism is other people and not him and that he is a joy. I also remind him that we are all works in progress and he has been saying that, lately, whenever either one of us has a particularly spazzy or goofy moment.

I am the luckiest girl in the universe.
I am the luckiest Mama in the universe.
I am fortunate beyond measure to know this remarkable kid.

Here he is, jumping for joy:
So happy!

And right now I need some sleep.
There will be a post to catch up on the events that I have skipped over… Eventually.

Goodnight.
xo
B.

Image

AccidentalThong.com celebrates 1000 Ausome Things #AutismPositivity2013

30 Apr

Here are a few of my favorite images which remind me of three of my favorite things about autism:
-When we are given the space to be ourselves, we soar.
-There are always new angles and new ways to approach everything (when in doubt, SPIN!)
-We understand each other even when we can’t find our words.

AccidentalThong.com celebrates 1000 Ausome Things #AutismPositivity2013
These are two of my favorite things! Happy Autism Acceptance Day!
Two Happy Aspies

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