A is for….

22 Mar

Awesome Friend

Laaaaaaa!

Echoes

X-Blocker!

Artistic

Nutty

Drains

Electricity

Reading

(They had to make a “poem” using the letters of their names… That’s just his first name(above)…. His last name list included “Aspie Power!”, “Unique”, and “Superstar!”…The Laaaaa! in his first name is additional proof (like I needed any!) that the apple does not fall far from this Mama apple tree…I have been known to bust into showtune or operatic moments… Lots of “Laaaaaaa!” for no apparent reason, and just for fun…X-blocker is his superhero name.  He can throw his arms and legs up and out like an X and bam! you just can’t get by him-especially in the kitchen or if you are carrying something bulky.)

Anyway, he’s having a hard time.  His teacher, from what I am getting at this end, is having a hard time understanding that Alex’s misunderstanding directions is not willful.  He spends hours on homework with his Daddio every afternoon- so much so that he has no time for play during the week.  It is a struggle.  I think a regular, non-Aspie, non-LD kid would take awhile on the homework, especially as a first grader, but for Alex it’s near impossible.

And the kicker?  They sent home a homework folder with instructions on when homework is due, grading (if one bit is not done he gets a 0 for homework for the whole week), and what needs to be done (ie 5 spelling activities, x number of pages of reading, x number of pages of handwriting, x number of pages of math homework, etc…All supposedly per/week…)

So what do we find out?  The instructions in the homework folder are completely inaccurate from what the teacher wants.  So who gets penalized?  You’ve got it.   It wasn’t x number of pages of math/week- that was a typo- it was that many pages PER DAY.  For the love of Pete! And nobody told us until we were more than half way through the quarter!  They gave out a project assignment, with a due date, which Alex and the bald guy stayed up late working on (and even took a field trip to add authenticity to the “magazine” they were creating)… Alex goes to hand it in and guess what?  It is due the next week and now it is double the pages and there are more parameters to follow.

So, WTF?

To top it off, Alex has come home a few times seeming pretty glum.  I have asked him what happened and I used to assume it was a kid/social issue, and it is sometimes, but more often than not his teacher (who I have met and she seemed like exactly what Alex needed…We did provide the school with information that explains Asperger’s on a basic level and I even gave them some books on the topic and offered both myself and the bald guy as available to address any concerns, questions,etc) is making comments to him that are really pissing him off.  Ok, that’s my word.  But as he has recently taken to not lashing out when someone says something that doesn’t make sense and instead is bottling it up to bring home to me, the words are eroding his self-esteem.

Today he came home and told me that his teacher said that he only does his homework when he feels like it.

?!?$?#@%$@$

WTF?

4 hours nightly and no time for play… Any other time is used talking about social stuff and reading together.

And she thinks he’s only doing homework when he FEELS like it.

Yeah. I know!

The baldman is going to have to go in to talk to her and the principal.  I can’t do it. The same questions and gaps in communication keep coming up and baldman and I are forever walking around with Peanuts squiggles over our heads about the things Alex brings home- homework, things that other people said…. Baldman is going to have to take this by the horns.  I’m too sick (this is the first time I have my laptop open for more than 5 minutes today.) and tomorrow I am pleading with the ER to admit me for tests. Something very screwed up is going on with my spine, nerves, brain.  I’m in pain, I’m exhausted, and I am not alert at any normal human functioning time to communicate with school. And I can’t drive. I can barely leave my bed. And the whole getting my point across without following a tangent and never getting to the point- you know, my Aspieness, my ADD-ness- also lead to Baldman handling this one as an answer.  But it’s really hard being the one that understands Alex. The only one that really understands Alex because we share a neurological disorder, and because of that disorder and my other health crap I can’t advocate for him.  I can’t be as active as he needs me to be and I swear to *insert deity/higher power/universe at large here* that I would rather be a head in a bubbly giant pyrex beaker thing than this broken pile of pain and vertigo and numbness and hypersensitive senses, because as long as there was a way for me to communicate effectively I would do so.  I would advocate for my kid, loud and clear. And people would give me the benefit of the doubt and come to be with questions or for clarification, rather than just ignoring me or judging me.

This is so frustrating.

Anyway. I’m off to the ER tomorrow. It’s the only way I can get the tests I need to see if the damage in my spinal column has finally impinged on the cord, and maybe figure out what the heck the mass on the back of my leg and on my left abdomen are all about.

Sorry for the bitch-fest. Had to get it out.

No where was I… Oh….So…. Parents of awesome Aspies and kids with communication/learning disorders etc..(similar or otherwise)… Any suggestions on communication between home and school? I was thinking of doing the daily report card thing…Has anyone had any luck with that sort of thing? Any suggestions for a kid who doesn’t have an IEP (he goes to private school)?

If I wasn’t this sick, I’d homeschool him in an instant.

And no the baldman can’t do the homeschool thing because (drumroll please) he starts work in 3 weeks! Yes! That is the good news you have waded through this post for since you read the word “LAAAA!” up top!  Baldman got a job with the census!  He starts training in 3 weeks. Which means that even though most of the mechanics of this old broken body are not working or are not feeling right while they are working, we are in a time crunch….

Anyway….suggestions? resources?

hugs all around.

xo

B

P.S.  Once I am back on my feet- or at least sitting upright a little more comfortably, I will be running some sort of a fun and exclusive fund raiser to pay for the impending hospital, docs, and lab bills.  I have a bunch of stuff I never listed and I’m thinking of doing another grab bag extravaganza.  Whatever it is, it will be pretty sweet, ok?  If you have other ideas let me know!

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One Response to “A is for….”

  1. Shelley March 23, 2010 at 8:09 pm #

    School is a constant struggle for us. One of my son’s teachers (who was great for him & who knew how to teach to just this type of issue) was forced to semi miscategorize so that my son could get the services he needed (since the state didn’t recognize the non specific form of autism as needing services!). This was a blessing, in that he got services & a curse, in that later teachers (& doctors) didn’t read far enough into the file to get him the right services, laziness, as far as I’m concerned. They wouldn’t listen to us, as we told them time & time again the nature of his disorder & that if they actually read his file, they might actually be able to provide my son with an education. It’s been very frustrating. The answers are right in front of them, but they don’t want to take the time to see them! I can commiserate, even though my son’s disorder is a little different from Alex. I wish I knew of more resources. If I gave my son’s teachers book to read (& I’ve suggested several), I don’t think they read them. I wish I could have homeschooled or even could afford a private school. I’ve wondered about the on-line schools, where it’s basically independent study, but I can’t get clear answers about IEPs & such. If I come up with anything, I’ll let you know & I’ll watch here for ideas, too.

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