For Friends/Family of Special Needs Parents:

I think this applies pretty well to other special needs and not just autism.

In my virtual travels, I have noticed a major theme and source of extra stress for parents of kids with special/different needs and that is that family and friends that were a part of their life before the special needs came into play (before the child/children were born, before the parents became concerned and started seeking answers…  Anytime, really…) are either no longer present or seemingly unwilling (or actually unwilling) to accept their friend’s often complex responsibilities and family challenges and maybe their friend’s increased need for someone to listen, a friend who won’t judge them, just kindness … A FRIEND.  They could really use a friend. If you still want to be a friend (and this goes for family- immediate and extended pretty equally) but just don’t know what to do, here’s a great place to start:

(I do have other links like this…I’ll update and post them when I can…)

Your Child Has Autism, and I Don’t Know What to Say: Seven Ways to Go the Extra Mile to Keep Your Friendship Thriving

via Your Child Has Autism, and I Don’t Know What to Say: Seven Ways to Go the Extra Mile to Keep Your Friendship Thriving | Delightfully Different Life.

 

Please share this resource!  Us exhausted parents of special needs kids thank you!

xo

B

Ryan Gossling + Special Needs + Adventures In Extreme Parenthood = Awesome

Sunday, the brains and funny bone behind ExtremeParenthood.com, has struck comedy gold with her take on the whole Ryan Gosling Hey Girl meme thing….

Just clickety click and you’ll see what I mean.
Not a special needs parent? Click anyways. It’s good stuff, and we could always use another regular-needs parent aware that we go through so much with our kids and their special needs…So much so that we have to learn what equates to a new language, new culture, new pretty much everything and for some it’s a crash course, for others it’s more of a gradual immersing in the wild ocean waves and foam and errant riptides that can be parenting, but is more frequent in special needs parenting.

And I think you’ll laugh. Even if you don’t know what an IEP is or PECS are. And especially if you do….

Here’s the linkeydoo again…

xo
B

p.s. There are a pile of Ryan Gosling Memes and Ryan Gosling Meme-spired Offspring out there…

Two more favorites:

Hey Girl, It’s Rachel Maddow

Handmade Ryan Gosling

If Public Opinion Penned an Autism Diagnosis…

La-la-la-love this!

I don’t know a single parent of a kid on the spectrum that hasn’t heard at least one of these!

Have anything to add?  Post ‘em in the comments please!

xo

B

Here’s the link:

If Public Opinion Penned an Autism Diagnosis… | Autism & Oughtisms.

Ten Tips… An Autistic’s Advice

Tomato Tomato. Lets Call The Whole Thing Off....Doesn't work so well when typed.

A fantastic list of 10 tips for teachers, that really should read:  Ten Tips for Everyone.    Every person that interacts with the world, in any way, shape, or form will come in contact with a person with autism at some point and probably more frequently than just once or twice.  For that matter, every person does come in contact with people with various disabilities, some of them “invisible disabilities”… So yes, everyone should read this and mentally slather it onto their brains as “Ten Tips to Mindfully Communicate With Your Fellow Humans, Especially the Ones Who Seem To Be A Little (or a lot) Off Center In What You Consider To Be ‘Normal’”. 

My apologies for using that “N” word.  Most of you know that I find that N word to be outdated, on an even keel day, and mythical on the other 364.

Clickety click the link below, and check out the tips.

Please comment below if there is anything you would add and if you have examples of people doing the opposite… Me thinks it helps to bridge the gap between us and them when we can share examples.  Too many of the folks not living with disability or a difference that impacts every single morsel of their lives, think that discrimination and just plain douchey behavior doesn’t happen anymore because “people know better” and “there are laws” and when we do share our stories with others we are often told that we just misunderstood or worse, that clearly we have a chip on our shoulder.  Gee. Thanks made-for-cable-TV movies and sitcoms. Stereotyping us as bitter-because-of-our-physical challenges or extra-sweet and gullible because of mental and emotional ones, either keeps folks away or lets them feel no guilt whatsoever when they slip on in and take advantage of us.

Those of us who live with “it” everyday know that the treatment of people with differences and disabilities is like Betty Crocker’s iconic female face.  The clothes have changed.  Makeup and hair have been updated.  But it’s still a box of cake mix.  Capisce?

Here, as promised way back in the beginnings of this post, is the link:

An Autistic’s Advice: Ten Tips for Teachers.

xo

B

The Tuesday Ten & I Am Loved.

The Tuesday Ten… Not happening. Sorry. Can’t do it. Is anyone surprised? Ok good. Perhaps I’ll post random facts or some sort of meme-ish shenanigans on Thursday… Thirty Thursday sounds like a stretch if Tuesday Ten is this daunting. Hmmm. I do have plenty to share. We’ll see….

Alex came home with this neat little “about me” packet he filled out when he started at his new school.

I asked him if I could share it on my blog and he said, “Oh Mama. Of course you can. You can put it all over your blog if you want to.”

I think this even tops the one from two mother’s days ago when he said I was pretty as a cupcake.

Such love in that kid. I make sure to tell him, especially when things are extra challenging, that I’m the luckiest lady in the world because I get to be his Mama. It’s important, to me, to make sure that he doesn’t go through life feeling like an imposition, or a 2nd class citizen, or as though my life is challenging because he has Autism. No kid should have to feel that way. It’s so damaging and endless. So I remind him all of the time how proud I am of him, and that I love him stinky feet and all. He says the same stuff back to me, which is unnecessary, but to me it shows that he’s getting some of this reciprocation thing. It’s also incredibly healing for me, as he is the first person in my world, in my immediate circle, to love me as me and not as a chunk of clay to be molded into something more desirable. So much of my life, starting at a very young age, felt like I was some piece of something getting thrown out and everyone around me tried to upcycle me into something useful for their needs, rather than helping me navigate the way to being the authentic, strong, unique me. So my kid’s admiration and love for me is a pretty gigantic thing considering how long I went without that trust, acceptance, and unconditional love. I don’t lean on him like a crutch, but he can’t help but inspire me to work harder and to be myself. After all, what would I be teaching him if I wore a mask all of the time?

xo

B