Boots for Alex

Our PC is on it’s way out (I’m typing this on my mac, as if the PC will know if I talk about it and will get even more stubborn!) …. So I’m transferring everything to our other drive and hopefully adding another mac in the near future….(my mac also runs windows XP for my animas insulin pump software…woohoo!)

Anyway, in the midst of cleaning out I found this little movie…No sound but so cute… I can’t believe how much he has grown!  This one is almost 3 years old…Alex was a little over 2 and we had just moved in…

Alex sings Duffy…

The best tool in our potty training arsenal…

For years (a little over 4 of them) we struggled with potty training the little guy. Yes, he has some other issues (on top of the drama that is a 4 year old boy at times) which threw a little extra zest into the challenge, but as we had never potty trained another kid this was our normal…

We did, however, amass quite the arsenal of potty paraphernalia during out journey…Most of it addressed specific issues boyo and I were having during the process, but none of them were a perfect solution.

Here were our main issues:

1. boy is blessed with my proportions. He has a long torso and short legs.

2. boy is bigger from front to back than most potties and potty seats

3. boy is fiercely independent when it comes to learning new things. he is also secretive. he will practice something, in private, until he gets it perfect to show us. We think this may be genetic, as we are big on the “do your best” thing rather than the “you have to do my version of your best and I am completely delusional and this will scar you for life” dealio. Anyway, example: he didn’t walk until 22 months (for many reasons) but when he did he just walked. He never stumbled or fell down. He just walked like he had been doing it for a year.

4. With my physical issues (arthritis and early on in his potty training history, projectile vomiting whenever I would move, and a giant tumor, pulsing with hormones, in my neck) emptying and cleaning the little floor potty was necessary, but frustrating and frequently painful and exhausting.

Eventually, we discovered that boy was still dropping a dook in his shorts and telling us, proudly, that he had crapped or wet his pants. Odd. Well, as it turns out, we were encouraging him to, in basic terms, do his business in a container and then we were dumping the goods in the big, flushing toilet and then scrubbing the “container”, he figured he would up our efficiency and just crap directly in his underpants which could then be thrown into the washing machine with some stain treating and rinsing. He decided that this system was much easier and more efficient and he didn’t have to break up his playtime as quickly to get to the “container” to drop the kids off in a timely fashion.

It was at this point that I realized we had taught him that you poop and pee in one place and then you transfer them to, basically, a garbage (that flushes)…

Boyo is very literal. I can see clearly, how our struggle went on for so long… Hindsight is 20/20

So we moved onto the Baby Bjorn potty seat, which was the only seat around that would accommodate all of the necessary little dude gear without him shifting around (and possibly wiggling the seat a bit and scaring the…well, you know… at least he was in the appropriate place for having the poo scared out of him)….

Of course, this meant that every time he had to use the potty he had to locate me, communicate with me regarding his needs (or just do a dramatic pee-pee dance and then flat out deny that he had to pee while a puddle formed around his feet) , and then we both had to venture to the bathroom, where I would lift him (remember the arthritis? Not a good match for lifting my 36lb wiggly kid)… He would then do his business and wash his hands and move on.

I did notice that he was doing better with the potty thing when he started school, but of course everyone had been chanting before he started “when he sees the other kids being big boys and big girls and using the potty he will want to as well”… So I just wrote it off as peer pressure…

One day, my genius child got the stepstool out (we rarely used it as he still couldn’t reach much even with it) and attempted to climb up onto the regular toilet by himself (I just watched and didn’t intervene as he is a “practicer” with everything). Well, a stepstool (made for kids) has a few critical flaws: the one we have (which we love for other uses) has 2 steps…If boy is on step 1 he doesn’t have enough turn-around space and does not have the leg length to just park his butt on the toilet seat… If he is on step 2 he is very high and the drop down to the toilet seat is terrifying… It definitely doesn’t help that the regular kid stepstools do not have a handrail or grip bar of some sort.. Poor kid was so scared at the top of the stool that he just stood there crying softly and shaking a bit… Pants around his ankles and he couldn’t move because his balance, at that time, was still not the greatest… Note: to this day he takes his pants completely off when he has to pee, even in public restrooms… I have a feeling it was this particular incident with the stepstool that triggered that quirk…

Anyway, I toyed with the idea of installing handicap restroom railings in his bathroom. But still the wooden, very cute, and personalized stool wasn’t the right proportion for this purpose…

Then one day… EUREKA!

When I had my spine surgery I found that even just boosting myself a little bit, to get my butt onto the bed, was torture (occasionally, I blacked out and fell over from the pain doing this)… So one of the nurses hooked me up with a metal step stool- with a higher handle on one side and a grippy surface to step on. It was a life saver for me (and later on, at home, my underused reebok step (with risers) replaced it as I had enough strength to step down without the handle)…

So I ordered one for boyo. I got mine off ebay… If you click the image above it will take you right to the stool we have (and love) and ParentHacks.com gets a percentage of what you buy. By the way, if you have a kid(or kids) or are ever planning on interacting with the pee-wee set, you might want to subscribe to parenthacks… Truly awesome stuff…

Anyway- within a week of it’s arrival we made a huge amount of progress- boy was potty trained. Most of all, it taught me, as a parent, that the key to my little guy’s success is letting him take ownership of his tasks. Helping him get to and from the potty solved some of the mess issues, but it was killing my back, and teaching him that he doesn’t have to be responsible for his bodily functions and the state of his underpants. The step stool has given him the freedom and responsibility to handle those things, and to manage his time better as it is up to him to get his butt up on that toilet before it is “too late”…

Some tips if you do get a stool like this for your kids:

Do not let little kids use the adult toilet, unsupervised… (kids can drown in 1-2″ of water…) Perhaps in the beginning of using such a stool it would be wise to park it a few feet away from toilet while it is not being actively used… The legs are wide (like a bulldog) apart and rubbergripped and the stool is fairly solid…It is not easy for someone under 3.5 feet tall to move..Use your judgment, of course, you know your kid best.

Do not attempt to wipe down the grippy surface with a disposable cleaning wipe(ie clorox wipe). Cleaning wipe dingle berries will accumulate rapidly. A spritz of spray cleaner and a wipe with a microfiber cleaning cloth works wonders… If the crevices are getting dusty, try a utility/scrub brush after spraying…

And after your dear child finishes potty training and his/her legs grow long and strong enough to not need this very valuable tool, do not dispose (donate or sell) of this… This stepstool is also steady and useful in the kitchen and, as I mentioned previously, after surgery…

I hope this helps at least one parent and one kiddo….

Hugs all around…

B

The Reading Habit

Reading….

Originally uploaded by CleverGirlBek

I was reminded of this photo today when I went into boy’s bedroom to air out his bed and I uncovered his two babies -Paul (an anatomically correct boy drink and wet doll) and Emily (my “baby” from my childhood)-tucked into his bed very sweetly… While he doesn’t regularly play with dolls he is way more attached to his “buddies” (a motley bunch of stuffies that are threatening to take over his entire bed) than action figures and superhero type boy stuff… At least for now…

In this picture he had tucked the babies in (this was over a year ago)…Their bed was his toy box with cushion on top… He then put every blanket he could find on them (I think he thinks our house is cold… I think he needs to start wearing pants regularly and then judge the temperature.)…

And he read to him. The way his dad reads to him…

Very sweet and nice to see that all of the trips to the library and the eight zillion books the baldguy has read to him have made an impact….

Found my voice…

Alas it is a little one…

Couldn’t speak above a whisper for 24 hours or so… Boy was worried…Kept climbing up on the bed to snuggle with me and waiting for me to speak and then would get so disappointed and say “Your voice isn’t big yet”…

The cool thing?  I could whisper from the bedroom when the boys were playing video games in the den(still want to call it the rumpus room. there is just something so hilarious and joyful sounding about “rumpus room”… ) and both of them would hear me. I didn’t even need to use the bell.

For 24 hour boyo listened to everything I said (thankfully his hearing is back since starting his antibiotics for the ear infection)…

The baldguy didn’t ask me to repeat anything. Which is amazing.  I think I said to him a couple of weeks, “I just want an hour where I don’t have to repeat anything. I’d save so much time and energy.”   So I guess I got my wish, even though I would rather not be in bed with a fever, in pain, and drifting in and out of consciousness….  Oh well, they still have to listen more carefully as my voice is not back full strength and I am stuck in bed, so they have to run the ship and because usually I’m the one who knows, they are having to be resourceful so as to not strain my voice or my energy… It’s amazing to watch and not as much of a disaster as I had imagined….(then again, I really haven’t left the master bedroom for 36 hours…)

Not really type-A at all….But I have to be… For the boy….

Magnet Board…

Originally uploaded by CleverGirlBek

This is our magnet board. I am not a neat freak. I’m nowhere near organized.  I am struggling with this, but it is helping…. *phew*
The magnets were made by me using the Make-a-Schedule software from Do2Learn.com ….
We use the magnet board to lay out boyo’s every task for the day… As he does the various things he gets to put the magnet in a little container (like a piggy bank)… At the end of the day we count them up and they count as points to be used for things on the “menu” of treats…

Right now it is broken down in a fairly detailed fashion but as he masters certain tasks that contain multiple steps they will be truncated to focus on other areas…

The Prize Menu comes from conversations with kiddo, so they really mean something to him…
He loves going to the big car wash (actually, it’s the same size as the other car washes, but that’s what he calls it…) so for 200 points he gets to go to the carwash with us… Or for 200 points we can go out for ice cream on the weekend… 200 points can also be watching a DVD movie with baldguy and me…

The magnet board/scheduling like this is not easy. Right now it and helping boy with the tasks on it are all consuming. I’m exhausted and burnt out but boyo is doing great. This is helping in a huge way with transitions- it’s like he can fight with us and totally lose his marbles, but the pictograms are irrefutable….

We are still working out the kinks… And eventually will have a more variable point system, but starting with the basics works best for us… So here we are…

Oh and the do2learn.com software is wonderful- the desktop version requires a bunch of downloads to get all of the images onto your computer (so you can use the software without a live internet connection- I do most scheduling during boyo’s therapy and they do not have wifi in that building so using it off-line is important to me… If you do order the desktop version make sure you scroll down on the get images menu- there is a “get all” option at the end- you don’t have to be a dolt like me and click them all and wait one by one… Ugh. need more sleep…)

Maybe I should put my sleep on the schedule…. :-)

Kaboost! Wahhhoooo!

Over the past couple of months our family has been eyeball deep in home and family reorganization… Because my health and physical ability has changed so much and boyo’s needs are changing daily, I am so much more aware of the things that help me, that give me a little more flexibility or a boost with one set of needs so that I can save my energy and strength for where and when it can have a greater impact. So, the next couple of posts will be about gadgets and tools that are helping me and/or helping boyo…

This one is a new favorite….We have been through a zillion baby/child seating devices- bouncy chairs, high chairs, portable high chairs, boosters… Boyo is at this point where he really wants to be a big guy and is very sensitive about using any implements that say “baby”. Today he told me that he is with the 3 year olds in school, so he is a baby. Any which way I sliced it I knew he wasn’t going accept that his birthday is 5 days after the state cutoff…. I’m learning lately that, with his delays and his sensitivity about being grouped with much younger kids, it’s really important to not totally bug him out with new things (he doesn’t transition easily or in some cases at all) and more than ever helping him feel like a big guy makes him behave like a big guy. So I am really learning about the delicate art, the dance, of keeping the little guy supports that he still needs, behind the scenes…

Anyway, part of this is, as he is still a smaller kid in size, is outfitting every area in the house with step stools. We recently started eating dinner outside every night, as a family (more on that later this week). I bought this gadget as an alternative to a booster seat as my mom’s dining chairs are a little, um, different…They do not accommodate any baby/growing kid gear…

I found an ad for Kaboost in the back of a local parenting magazine and ordered one immediately. It’s awesome. By far one of my most favorite kid gadgets. Almost any chair can be used on it… It comes in brown so it blends with Oma’s earth-tone rich environment. I am ordering a 2nd one this week as I want one for her house and the one for ours. The only downside to it? You do have to lift up and maneuver the chair and pull the springy arms of the kaboost out and get it all together- not a big deal, I’m guessing, for most folks. But this maneuvering is a bit difficult to me with this current body, so our Kaboost stays at home, on one chair. I wouldn’t call this issue a flaw (trust me it’s me and not the Kaboost!) but that is the one thing keeping me from taking one everywhere. When out at the rare restaurant meal boyo can use a regular booster. But for everyday I find the Kaboost to be a sanity saver for us and it encourages big boy behavior at the dinner table which is something that puts this in my top 10 gadgets for growing kids…

Here’s the link to amazon- more information on kaboost and images…. KABOOST Portable Chair Booster Chocolate

Semi-break….

For those of you that don’t know, I am taking a brief break from making custom pieces… My shop is still open, I’m still shipping, but I needed some much needed meditation time… It’s hard. I want to make stuff. I need to make stuff. But I’m pulled elsewhere.  Perhaps all of this time away will refuel my creative tank and I’ll be able to play again… Lots of things are going on in clever-land…  The occupant of much of my brain and heart-space is, of course, my little guy… Tomorrow we head to the new neurologist, as recommended by his occupational therapist, to discuss some of the flags she has seen, and of course, that we have seen.  When she first mentioned the idea of making an appointment she also suggested writing down all of the “quirks” that our guy has.  So for the past month and a half, while waiting for our appointment to come up, I have been looking at my kiddo, and myself, with a magnifying glass that is perhaps too strong.   I spent this past week crying every time he did something that isn’t typical of a regular kid.   I am realizing, with every magnified step that if there was doubt that he is different (and I’m not talking different as in wonderful different- I’m talking about the kind of different where it is hard for him to function in the world just as he is -different)  that doubt has vanished. Part of me dug my heels in today about going to the initial consultation tomorrow.   It’s like folks who dwell in denial- if you don’t go to the doctor than nothing is wrong.  Of course we are going.  Of course going tomorrow doesn’t change anything for the negative.  Going tomorrow is not going to make my little guy different (for lack of a better word). It’s not going to brand him with an affliction.  The only thing that can happen is that we will learn something and be given a flashlight instead of the magnifying glass to help us find the tools that can help all of us.   I’m also reminded of when the early intervention folks came for the evaluation almost 3.5 years ago, for his gross motor delays - his pediatrician and neurologist and stay in the hospital and testing had all asked about the things that he didn’t/couldn’t do.  The early intervention social worker asked me “What is he good at?”  and I was floored.  Surely he was good at many things. But we had already been trained to look at the solid negative evidence in front of us and not see the sun breaking free of the clouds.  I’ve kept that lesson- to see the light even when being told to describe only the darkness- because you can, with so many variables have one without the other if you forget to see it all. Anyway, tomorrow we will go and hopefully it will be the beginning of a journey for our family where we will all have the tools to have more good days together.So this is what I’m focusing on… Well, this and reorganizing every bit of anything in our home and my studio so that there will be less distraction for all of us and we can work on having a bit more structure.   My kiddo tends to be pretty black and white about everything and hubby and I tend to be more grey-area, less structured, more artistic….We are trying to find a happy medium…. Hugs all around.  And for the love of pete if someone could tell me why none of my formatting is keeping please please please let me know… :-)  

CleverGirl and the Destruction of the Toy.

This post may be in multiple fonts.  I’m having a technologically moronic day. It happens on occasion….

 

Anyway, here we go…

 

Boy was given a fabulous electronic horn/kazoo hybrid by his uncle for Christmas. And it broke within a couple of days after arriving.  So I emailed the company…. Anyone who knows Alex knows that music is his life.  Ok, it’s a young life, but every day is filled with music- either his appreciation of (and trying to educate me on the finer points of Bach, Beethoven, and my favorite, Dan Zanes) or performing as he follows me around the house or plays along with his favorites… I’ve always dreamed of having my own Pips to follow me around and back me up in everyday situations… For now I have my own personal wandering minstrel, which is a fine, strong start. 

 

So Boy has been pretty distressed about the demise of this most curious instrument….

 

Anyway, finally received an email back with instructions on how to obtain a replacement…. 

 

“If the unit is no longer working. The unit need tobe deliberately destroyed. Showing proof that the unit is no longer workingby via e-mail.” So we have to destroy the toy (referred to here as unit) DELIBERATELY and show proof.  Maybe I’m reading it in the wrong tone- because the toy is already broken, just not visibly (the sound doesn’t work…not really going to show up in the photo and I don’t have the technology here to do the whole youtube thing with this….)… But I feel like I have a mission.  I feel like I have been given the ultimate challenge.  I feel like I should call up the boys from Mythbusters to have a go at this because they have some really cool toys of their own that could take out this Kazoozamaphone or whatever the heck it is called….  Of course, being a goofball with the heart of a prankster who happens to love photography this has my brain swarming with possibilities…. I’ll post the photos here once the job is done. Gotta go drink some coffee and survey my instruments of toy destruction. (of course this destruction must be completed, photographed, and disposed of while boy is at school…. there wouldn’t be enough hours of therapy in the world to help him if he saw what we have to do to his innocent toy.)  (note: despite mentioning it was a gift in my emails they require, if a toy can’t be returned to the place of purchase, a sales receipt- which I do not have because that’s traditionally not how the whole “sending a gift to the nephew who is 4 and like pretty much everything” thing works…. Still waiting to hear back on that)   *hugs*CleverGirl  

Books are Moovelous.

That’s right. MOO-velous.

Holy carp.
Have you seen this kids show on TLC?
I don’t quite know why but this show just annoys the daylights out of me (and it’s getting very dark in here these days).

Wilbur is a calf (a baby cow.)
The intention of the show is to foster a love of reading/literacy.
The tag line is “Books are MOO-velous”.

Yes. I said, “MOO-velous”.

Combined with a calf who has a serious lower body wiggling/gyrating spasticity issue whenever he gets the urge to read a book. I’m not kidding.

Thank goodness Alex still parrots me a little. I now have him correcting Wilbur and saying “books are marvelous”. (and he also says “freakin’ awesome” and “freakin’ guys” when either something is freakin’ awesome or someone bumps their head…)

Close call there.

Anyways. For those of you that are a bit older than the Barney craze (I’m 31 and except for the occasional babysitting exposure, I wasn’t really exposed to Barney first hand) I’m sure you do know that Barney drives plenty of people bananas…He’s not my favorite and I have learned to zone out the sound of his voice (in the same way I learned to zone out the FAO Schwarz “Welcome to My World” continuous loop theme music when I worked there during college… side note: I worked in boys action/figures, legos, and the “nerf-al region” as we affectionately called it. Damn it was fun being the only girl.)

Well, I’m trying to summon all of my meditative powers to block out the sound of Wilbur.

Oh and the show uses this technique called “Shadowmation”.
About “Shadowmation” (Thanks PBS!)
“Shadowmation” is a unique, patented animated process that utilizes real time virtual sets and bun raku style team puppetry, integrating live action animatronic characters and computer generated animation in real time, high definition virtual environments. This process combines all the advantages of animatronics, the expressiveness of live performance, and the freedom and range of computer animation. It has a distinctive and compelling immersive visual quality.

Well, Wilbur doesn’t looks that compelling to me. PBS has a show using the technology called “It’s a big, big world” (which Alex and I both like- one of the main characters is a sloth which I swear is my spirit animal once again :-) and the look is great. Wilbur looks jerky and layered. Big, big world looks fairly natural. Like when you were a kiddo and you got sucked into The Muppet Show. You didn’t think or care about any technology- you just suspended all disbelief and got sucked on in.

and listen to this:
(from the wilbur.tv site….yeah. I think I may have a problem. but it’s on right now and I’m only 1/2 way through my first cup of joe so I can’t do work yet….)
Wilbur has no inhibitions at all. If he feels like wiggling he wiggles with glee. And if he feels like giggling, his giggles are infectious. He’ll do anything if it looks like fun and he always invites his friends to join in.

Along with all the things Wilbur already brings to the show, there is an element of magic about him. He can make things happen in a way that nobody else can. He can make something appear just by reaching out of view for it. AND he often seems to know what the kids at home are thinking, which in itself is a magical quality. He brings them into his special confidence and responds to what they say.

and he’s got these big black eyes- they are all pupil. It’s all too mad cow and a little too trippy and not in one of those “making me reminisce about my younger years” ways….

Ugh.
Anyways.
The good news? Noggin/Nick is bringing us “Yo Gabba Gabba”
Here’s the myspace page: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=59615836
“There’s a party in my tummy” was stuck in my head most of last week. Alex and I totally cut a rug every time they air the clips on Noggin. AND it got him to try some new foods last week.

It will all be ok. Maybe this is the universe’s way of achieving balance.

Maybe not.

Hugs. Kisses.
Read a book. Books are MARVELOUS.
b